As I've shared many, many times, my proposal to Mrs Guru was up there with the best. It involved spelling out 'Marry Me' in the sand at Compton Bay and then walking her to the cliff edge with a blindfold for a bird's eye view.
The tide had come in and washed away half of the Y so that the message read 'Marr Me' but she got the idea.
If you want to impress your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse/life-partner on the Isle of Wight this February, then here are five ideas to get your started, entirely pinched from Instagram.
Please feel free to add other ideas at the bottom of the page if you're a local business owner who is shrewd enough to cash in on romantic fools like myself.
1. Tuk tuk into a burger
The Isle of Wight Tuk Tuk is a new thing for 2020 and they're doing a deal with The Cow at Tapnell Farm where they'll pick you up and drop you off at the restaurant.
The Ts & Cs say that you need to be within 5 miles of Tapnell Farm, or you can pay a bit extra. I'd suggest that 5 miles is a reasonable limit, as the 20 mile drive from Bembridge to Tapnell Farm might be a wee bit nippy on a February evening.
2. An enchanting break
The Enchanted Manor in Niton must be a contender for the Isle of Wight's most romantic accommodation. They offer four poster beds and a sort of rustic vintage decor which Mrs Guru approves of.
3. Dining at the Garlic Farm
I am hoping that the menu for the Garlic Farm's Valentine's meal won't be garlic flavoured soup followed by garlic tart (served with garlic bread) and garlic ice cream for pudding.
If so, I'd say there's very little chance of finding romance unless the bill comes with a very generous pile of mint imperials. Let's hope that it just provides a nice setting for a romantic meal with only a modest portion of garlic.
4. The Spirit of the Orient at Robin Hill
How about celebrating Valentines Day with a Chinese New Year themed walk in the woods instead of a romantic meal? According to the official blurb the Spirit of the Orient will be a fusion of sound, colour, illuminations and oriental flavours'.
Just make sure you pack a woolly hat.
5. Dine at the Duck
Finally, how about going the whole hog (Ed: surely, you mean Duck?) at The Duck in Ryde. After six courses, you'll want to walk it off along the Esplanade at Appley.
If you run a business and want to promote your Valentines Day plans, please feel free to comment below.
Isle of Wight Guru's Blog